Five things I wish I had known before the PhD

This is the opening of my dissertation. It works as a standalone reflection so I publish it here.

Every text, once written, becomes a message from the past. My time as a PhD student is now becoming a part of the past. What is the message I can send from this time, which can provide value to you, the reader who didn’t skip the opening of this dissertation? You are most likely a friend, colleague, or you are someone who picked up this thesis to help you in your own research. If you are a friend, you have my appreciation and I hope I haven’t forgotten you on the next page.

If you are scanning this thesis in hope of finding help on your PhD journey, I will use this page to recount some mistakes I made. I am doing this because during my PhD, I was swimming in advice that was often conflicting, hard to replicate, outdated, or not compatible my creative style. Yes, PhD is a writing job. Writing is a creative act or art. But I am losing you, sorry. I don’t want to waste my reader’s time. I don’t know how to give good advice, so here are a few things I which I wish I realized sooner:

1 I paid attention to outcomes when I should have focused on developing a solid routine. The discussions I was exposed to tended to be about papers, publications, awards. Generally speaking, the more, the better. The more prestigious, the better. Such way of talking has misled me. Focusing on outcomes was just making me miserable. What lies behind the outcomes is a lot of things which are hard to control, like luck or whether your supervisor decides to be available or not. What can be controlled is the process one engages in and the routines one cultivates. The outcomes follow but focusing on the process and finding enjoyment in the practice of the craft is generally healthier, which took me too long to realize.

2 I focused on collecting data when I should have focused on developing relationships. The language I was exposed to was filled with phrases like “data collection” and “data access”. Thinking in terms of data collection led me to a less productive path than if I focused on development of relationships. Especially in the case of qualitative work with organizations, approaching practitioner experts with the mindset of “I need to secure data access” is not as effective as thinking “I hope I can learn what these experts work on”. While data are what matters in the end, focusing on them is not productive in establishing relationships that eventually lead to data.

3 Focusing multi-disciplinarity is less effective than focusing on specific disciplinary intersections. The idea of multi-disciplinarity is mentioned frequently. I took a while to realize that in practice, there is hardly any such thing multi-disciplinarity. What I was encountering instead were specific intersections of disciplines. When it comes to academic interactions, there is no truly “multi-disciplinary venue”. There are only people, familiar with certain topics and approaches. Being inter-disciplinary usually means introducing one group to an approach taken by another group. Perhaps relatedly, I also realized that sometimes strong disciplinarity is actually the truly renegade path, especially in areas where disciplines bleed together.

4 I didn’t realize how much I know. PhD is partly challenging because the demands, competitive pressure, and constant comparison make people feel inadequate. When I got too embedded in the work and the academic game, I sometimes lost track of my own knowledge and capabilities. Especially now when my PhD time is over and I resumed contact with the outside world, I am often reminded of my level of skills and abilities. If I didn’t forget that I am actually pretty good at this, I would have easier time during the PhD too.

5 I was not idle often enough. For too long, I didn’t set upper limits on work. I worked on too many weekends and even when I did not work, I never really detached from the work. Being idle is a legitimate part of the research process because ideas need to grow once planted. Few hours of writing per working day with enough time to cook and exercise add up over time. On average, people work much less than how much they make themselves appear to work. Nevertheless, I am putting finishing touches in the dissertation, including this sentence, on a Sunday again.

Every text, once written, becomes a message from the past. This text is a message about where I was as an academic writer when my PhD concluded. I hope for chances to grow beyond that. The last three years have been transformative, as a PhD should have been and full of challenges, I am proud of having overcome. As I am closing this chapter, I sincerely thank to those who travelled alongside me. My best effort at a complete list follows on the next page.